” I was bragging on you today. Thank you for being such a hard worker and providing for our family,” I sent to my husband via text. He quickly responded, “Really? Who were you talking to?”
Most days I find it very easy to share statements of gratitude with my husband and thank him for the many things I love about him. I didn’t know how special it would be for him to hear me bragging on those things to other people.
When we speak well of our spouse, we pledge allegiance to them. We are telling other people that we value what we have built and that we are committed and invested. This is a natural adultery-repellent. ——-from Aleteaia.org
When you tell others great things about your spouse, when you boast of their character, when you brag on the ways you love them; we set a reminder of our commitment both in the minds of others and for ourselves. In a world that is so quick to husband-bash at girl’s night out what if we start a new trend of only bragging on the positive and genuine things we adore about the loving man we are sharing our lives with? Much like the old saying, “You draw more bees with honey than vinegar,” so kind words and words of love draw out the best in others. How often are we ‘venting’ about our pet peeves vs. boasting from a place of gratitude of how well we are loved?
Recently Lisa Harper shared on a Focus podcast how her manager challenges her when grouchy, “Stop and give me 10.” Sounds a little drill sergeant eh? Not 10 squats. Not 10 jumping jacks. Stop and give me 10 things you are grateful for. What a way to change our poopy-pants attitude to call one another out, to beckon ourselves out of the ugly complaining place, and stop and give 10 things on the spot we are grateful for. We can apply this to any area of our life; marriage, parenting, work life, friendships, ministry. The next time you hear a grumble of sour slip out of your mouth, stop and think what 10 things can you brag and give thanks about instead?
Maybe you are reading this and rolling your eyes wondering how on earth you can find something to brag about your husband. I don’t pretend that life is perfect and I sure don’t want to assume that your marriage is in a dreamy place. We all go through challenging seasons and some more dark and difficult than others. Spend some time today in quiet meditation just searching for that one small thing that you appreciate about your husband. Perhaps there is a quality about him that drew you to him early on in dating, when do you still see that peek out a bit? It may be a small item if you find yourselves on rocky ground, but try to dig in a bit and just run with that one small morsel of what you love and respect in him and then Run with it! See if it encourages any changes towards the good.
Have you tried this? Where you surprised by his reaction? Let’s all try it today. Find a way to share with someone one of the lavish ways you love your hubby and then rehearse the moment to him through text or later in conversation. See if his eyes don’t light up or his smile deepen a little more. Oh to be a life-giver instead of a life-taker as we build up our marriages as a place of solace and safety inside a madly spinning world.