As the deer pants for water…

I noticed all day Sunday afternoon there was a song that had gotten stuck in my family’s head. My hubby was humming as we sat on the porch each of us doing our own reading, work, homework, and such. Later I heard my daughter singing a few of the lyrics;

I have lost my appetite
And a flood is welling up behind my eyes
So I eat the tears I cry
And if that were not enough
They know just the words to cut and tear and prod
When they ask me, “Where’s your God?”

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
I can remember when you showed your face to me

As a deer pants for water, so my soul thirsts for you
And when I survey your glory, you so faithfully renew
Like a bed of rest for my fainting flesh
I am satisfied in you

When I’m staring at the ground
It’s an inbred feedback loop that drags me down
So it’s time to lift my brow
And remember better days
When I loved to worship you and all your ways
With the sweetest songs of praise

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
I can remember when you showed your grace to me

As a deer pants for water, so my soul thirsts for you
And when I survey your splendor, you so faithfully renew
Like a bed of rest for my fainting flesh
I am satisfied in you

Let my sights give way to songs that sing about your faithfulness
Let my pain reveal your glory as my only real rest
Let my losses show me all I truly have is you
Cause all I truly have is you

So when I’m drowning out at sea
And your breakers and your waves crash down on me
I’ll recall your safety scheme
You’re the one who made the waves
And your Son went out to suffer in my place
And to tell me that I’m safe

So why am I downcast?
Why so disturbed?
I am satisfied in You.
I am satisfied in You.
I am satisfied in You.

We sung Satisfied in You by Brian Eichelberger in church Sunday and it’s lingered with us through the week. The Psalms are walking through life with me this month challenging me to stay real about emotions. I love the author’s question to himself, ‘Why am I downcast?’ Sometimes I can feel down and not even know why. Some days it is hormones, sometimes it’s a yuck conversation I had with someone that carousels in my memory, and sometimes it is nothing at all. I have to remind myself I am satisfied. Even when my emotions and my thoughts run rampant, I am satisfied in my inner most part knowing who I was made by and who I was made for. I have to take each thought captive and remind myself that the one who made my soul, the one who knows everything about me, still loves me. That is satisfying indeed. I pray these words wash over you and remind you of better days when you loved to worship with the sweetest songs of praise. Remind your soul where real satisfaction comes from.

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